Oblivion

I have this pain in my heart that doesn't let me sleep, 

I can't make out what it is or where it comes from, 

I only wish it would let me be,

I wish it would go away; 

And then there are times when this idea creeps behind me and makes me think deaths is near by,

this which always leaves me wondering out of my wits, 

I wonder if this life is real, 

I wonder if I am not alone,

I wonder if I am not already gone, 

I wonder if death has not yet claimed me for it's own and I know not of this; 

What if everything I see is an illusion, 

what if nothing of what I hear is true, 

what if every day deceives me, 

what if there is only this pain in my heart and I am bound to it for all eternity, 

what if there is no time and space, 

what if here nothing really matters, 

what if everything is pointless and deep down inside I am but an empty shell; 

There is no motion here, there is no spark, there is no life, there is only nothingness, 

for I feel nothing...