Un Cuarto De Hora

Una vez más vuelvo a abrir tus paginas metafóricas para lograr lidiar con aspectos de mi existencia cotidiana que todavía no logro reconciliar; o más bien esta utopía en mi cabeza que no logra parecerse en nada a la realidad. Confrontaciones, verdades inverosímiles, falsas mentiras, la lealtad siempre en juego y nuevamente siento mis creencias tambalearse; se desmorona un poco aquello que creí indestructible; palabras que se toman a la ligera son para mi cosas que jamás tendrán sentido, simplemente no caben en mi cabeza; me arropan de tristeza, me agobia el sentimiento de derrota e impotencia frente a tales cosas. Maldita utopía que no me deja dormir, o malditos nosotros los seres humanos que solo logramos destruir hasta con lo que creamos.

The danger of wearing your heart on your sleeve is that it's easier for any one to break it...

Project for 2015: emotional independence Will that make cold and distant? Perhaps; no longer will I depend on others whims to be me and do what I desire. Confirmed, people will always disappoint.

I have this pain in my heart that doesn't let me sleep,  I can't make out what it is or where it comes from,  I only wish it would let me be, I wish it would go away;  And then there are times when this idea creeps behind me and makes me think deaths is near by, this which always leaves me wondering out of my wits,  I wonder if this life is real,  I wonder if I am not alone, I wonder if I am not already gone,  I wonder if death has not yet claimed me for it's own and I know not of this;  What if everything I see is an illusion,  what if nothing of what I hear is true,  what if every day deceives me,  what if there is only this pain in my heart and I am bound to it for all eternity,  what if there is no time and space,  what if here nothing really matters,  what if everything is pointless and deep down inside I am but an empty shell;  There is no motion here, there is no spark, there ...

If you only knew how many times I have wanted to kiss you, to lose my self in your arms once more, to feel the warmth of your lips touch mine; block once more the world around us, breath your air, smell your scent, I want to feel how your hands run through my body, from my shoulders to my cheeks, from my neck to my back, I want to run my fingers through your hair, place my arms around your neck, as you pull me close in an embrace that will last more than a life time; breath each other in, hear our hearts beat as one; catch our breath wile our noses still touch, wile our foreheads still touch....    I wonder, if I try again, would you let me?

I want to go out tonight, find a place where no one knows me, where the music is loud, the shots are  s trong  and the men are  cheap;  so I can dance the night away and forget about the pain that it is to be me...

So lately I haven't been able to finish any of the material I have written, I seem to be blocked, or ran out of inspiration, don't quite understand how this works, and lord know I have lots of material but I just cant seem to bring my self to write an ending to anything, even now I'm not sure how ill end this post, I'm writing until inspiration stars flowing over me; alcohol sometimes might be the answer but to what question, shall I resort to external means of inspiration, empty hollow meaningless factors that will heighten my senses, so I can truly see, that inspiration lies with in our hight, trapped behind a door in the back of our minds, which we need a magical key to tap in to; I don't want to believe this, how ever wine now runs through my veins, and warms my throat and heart,  I feel the red veil lifting and turn this vain piece of writing in to verses that intertwine with one another, turning reality in to a pink and purple blur, oh how I wish this feeli...

  Me siento flotar sin rumbo tras el día a día, veo la vida pasar a gran velocidad a mi alrededor, me pregunto si todos saben a donde van, lo que quieren, lo que desean; Solo por este medio me atrevo a soñar lo que quisiera ser, hacer, tener, sentir, oír, vivir;  Esta burbuja que me retiene quisiera reventar, no quisiera morir sin antes haber vivido lo suficiente para escribir todo un libro Lo quiero todo pero nada me retiene, no logro encontrar aquello que me apasione mas allá de mi propio ser; Un rayo de luz, una guía, alguna briza que me indique el camino a seguir es lo que necesito,  y finalmente ver las puertas abiertas hacia una nueva oportunidad de tomar todo aquello que me pertenece

As I lay here in my bed,  memories come running to my head,  I close my eyes, and I see you staring down at me,  I sense your hand touching my face,  and I can't help but wonder, am I in your head as you are in mine,  would you hear me, if I call out your name in the dark,  and if I reach out my hand, would you feel it touch your face. I must confess, I still dream of your bed ....

Driving on my way home the other night I realized the lack  romance in my life, I miss it, I want it, I need it, and not so much  because  of the person but for the fact that it feels like nothing else in this world,  all I am looking for is just a little romanticism, letting  that special someone see through to the true, soft and delicate side of you,  the touch of mystery and complicity that comes with it,  that feeling that makes you surrender all your barriers,  I miss that feeling that nothing else exits in this world but you and him. Men have  become indifferent and  forgotten their sense of chivalry,  women have become hard and no longer know what  courtship  means,  so much that now sex seems like a ATM transaction, go to cashier, insert card, get money, take card, leave; T hey want it in, out, done with and bye bye;  what did ever happen to en...

Here I lay within the arms of my beloved Morpheus, dreaming of far realms where sunsets are covered by pink clouds  and ancient lullabies are sang through the horizons,  for slumber is thy precious jewel obtained by the offerings of human dreams  to thy worshiped divinity who's arms i lay here within,  my beloved Morpheus.....

Shall i get away, fly from this invisible shackles that restrain me..... ...It would be a cruelty to cage a Phoenix, saddle a Unicorn or clip a Dragon's wings, all of which are wild, unique and above all meant to  be as  free as the wind beneath their wings or as the vast meadows beneath their feet... ...so why should you ask the same of me who carries the will of the dragon, portrays the grace of the unicorn, and as  irrepressible  as the eternal phoenix, I, for I reject you; your golden imprisonment; that which you may embellish with diamonds,  rubies  and  pearls ,  but shall  forever  remain as a vile cage....

Porque? es la preguna mas hecha por la humanidad a todos les gusta saber el porque de las cosas que pasan a todos no gustaria saber las respuestas de todos los misterio del mundo de la vida y de lo que nos depara el mas alla, pero nadie nunca se pregunta que puedo yo hacer para mejorar mi situacion personal o la de otros, y cuando aparecen personas que se dedican a hacer este bien terminana igual o peor que los demas, los tildan de locos, de inmaduros, de emocionales y no les cuesta mas que recluirse y refugiarse entre esos que esten dispuestos a compartir ideales, y a permandecer fieles a estos sin dejarse llevar por las tentaciones de las masas, que debemos hacer aquellos que pensamos en la vida como algo mas que lo que vemos a simple vista, alguna vez discutia este mismo tema con alguen muy especial, le preguntaba si pensaba que el problema es que somos demaciado idealistas, esta persona luego de una sonrisa torcida me respondio, "el problema no es que seamos demaciado idealis...

Hypocrite How do you stop all those feelings from coming to the surface? How do you prevent them form rising? How do you keep them at bay and ignore them? How do you stop yourself from acting upon them? Do you know? How can you tell me not to, when i know you want to? How can you tell me stop, when you want to go on? How can you ask me to forget, when you yourself want things to remain? How can you be such a hypocrite?

Pensamientos del aragonez errante Quienes somos, De donde venimos, Hacia adonde vamos, Porque somos como somos, Porque somos tan prendejos, Por que somos tan complejos, Porque jodemos el planeta que tenemos, Porque no nos amamos tanto como deberiamos, Porque siempre buscamos una razon para evitar lo obio, Porque ignoramos aquellas cosas que son realmente importante, Porque cuando enfrentamos a la realidad volteamos horrorizados. He aqui uno de los artistas con los que me identifico y admiro, este fragmento fue inspirado en su entrevista cuando visito la Republica Dominicana por segunda vez, con su gira El Viaje a Ninguna Parte, le agregue una o dos lineas mas, pero creo que es un buen material para un escrito mas largo, quizas luego lo elabore mejor.