I

What is my place in life, for so long I have been wondering about on this earth not really knowing where is it that I belong, I haven't been able to find the right job for me, I don't feel at home even in my own house, haven't even found the right lover, so I wonder what am I supposed to do, how do I figure this out, I need help but I can't be throwing my stuff all the time to those few who are wiling to listen, or even care, and I'm afraid, afraid of the future afraid of being stuck of never moving forward, I feel I'm being pulled back every time I try to escape, to do something different, I fall back on the same patterns, and I'm yet to figure out why, what or who is restraining me in such ways, I can't even breathe, for me it has always been like this, me against the world, if I keep swimming up stream will I ever get any where when swimming down stream seems so empty; I can't understand why is it that people can't just take you for how you are, they always feel the need to change something about you, to make you "better", and I ask my self better for whom..... 

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