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Showing posts from 2011

Silencio...

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Vagando por la ciudad, noche negra y oscura buscando algun alivio a mi mal humor, una cerveza y un cigarrillo ese es mi deseo, típico remedio a este estado de ebullición que zumba en mis oidos, un alma que me acompañe seria lo ideal, pero la realidad se resume en vertientes del mismo padecer y no la encuentro, soledad fiel compañera, tanto que cuando no estoy me extraña, suspiros intentan menguar el odio en mi alma pero sin lograrlo, recuerdo donde, cuando, como, quien y no logro descifrar el porque, lagrimas de impotencia corren por mis mejillas, mientras puños de rabia se estrellan contra paredes imaginarias, grito enmudecido que hace doler mi garganta, de rodillas en el pavimento de mi vida, recuerdos fantasmales me rodean, ensordecedor es el silencio de las palabras que jamas se dijeron, espaldas de frente me responden en diplomacia y jamas en justicia, energías agotadas y la derrota es eminente, palabras de aliento desconocidas me esperan en algun otro lu

Yearning

I want to fall in love,  I want to have butterflies in my stomach, I want to feel that there’s no one else in the room but him and I,  I want to smile like a complete idiot when, I see his name on my caller ID, I want to feel warm in his arms when he hugs me,  I want to feel protected by a knight in shining armor, I want to share my hopes and fears,  I want to have him wipe my tears when  I cry, whether its from excitement or sadness,  I want to feel that I can read his mind, and complete his sentences  I want to feel like I can count on him for anything and everything,  I want to feel like wanting to be there for that person too no matter what,  I want to feel so comfortable is his bed as if it where my own,  I want to fall in love again like I fell in love with you that time,  I want someone to fall in love with me like you did back then…

Rock on...

I carry music on me all the time, but I carry rock in my soul, from the main stream to the underground, its there, it comforts me, me moves me and inspires me, it makes me feel younger and full of energy, its what my life is based on, I remember the first rock band I ever had a CD from was Pearl Jam - Ten, to me still the best album they have, the 90's oh how I miss them, it reminds me of better days, late nights at the park, guitars and alcohol, great music and even better friends to share sorrows and happiness with, friends with the same interests same points of view same convictions and one passion... rock n' roll!!  "Bang Thy Head Rise Thy Horns, Salute Those About To Rock"

My dearest Black Widow:

I know of the pain you speak,  I have seen it,  I'm well familiar with the darkness that you dread  for I have been there,  I know your worries and concerns more than anyone alive,  I want you to have a brigth day and shine with your own ligth,  not have to battle anything or anyone for what u deserve;  and even though I could speak of you  of the beauty of the butterflies in spring,  and speak of all the colors before black  or of the golden dawn before the dark,  what use would it be, if you would  at the end of the day be afraid of the dark,  remember that even the night has its music,  and it is as well beautiful, for it has its own purpose,  I agree with them, no rush decisions,  hold it till u can when u can no longer,  let go with no regrets...  Ill be there backing you up every step of the way.

I Still Believe...

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I still believe I'll find my soul-mate, I still  believe  that there is someone out there just like me, I still believe in prince charming, I still believe in the fairytale, I still believe of being swept of my feet, I still believe the one who would follow exists, I still believe he will be strong enough to break all my barriers; It's not insane,  I still believe... I want the night,  I want the dress,  I want  the slow dance,  I want  the kiss, I want  the  happily ever after, I want it all... Now tell me, is it to much to ask? or am I destined to be without, what must I do? what wouldn't I do; A tear escapes my right eye, and I can't help but wonder... have I seen him before and didn't recognize the spark in his eyes, have I talk to him before and didn't decipher the hidden message, have I heard him before and didn't notice the song in his voice, have I touched him before and didn't feel the electricity in his skin, hav

Dreams

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Some times we encounter dreams upon dreams, situation unexpected that alter certain aspects of our life, but sometimes we forget that dreams are just that dreams, that they are not meant to be understood, interpreted or even worst taken literally, if u where to pay mind or any attention at all, they might shake up the core of your very existence and disrupt everything u have work so hard to keep balanced, and sane.....

Form the desk of The Black Widow's: 4 am

(phone rings)*Baila! Baila morena, bajo esta luna llena, under the moonlight* Her: You better have a good excuse for calling me at this time in the morning, it is 4 am, so make it a really good one. Best friend: we slept together. Her: ok, I am awake...... Continue reading at   http://thebw.blogspot.com/2011/05/3-am.html

Looking for you

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all I was looking for was a little sympathy all I was looking for was some warmth all I was looking for was some company  all I was looking for was some kindest all I was looking for was a look     all I was looking for was a  smile  all I was looking for was a  touch all I was looking for was to connect  all I was looking for was to belong  all I was looking for was to remember  all I was looking for was someone to count on all I was looking for was someone to hold my hand  all I was looking for was someone to spend some time with... Instead I got all the contrary, I got the coldness of some one who I could barely recognize  I that claims to see you, yet you avoid seeing me I that have always been there, yet you avoid being here I that keep wasting my self thinking you could ever change your heart; yet you the one that keeps stepping over mine.... I wonder if perhaps you have grown to hate me.... 

The lover in my dreamt reality

I kept on asking myself if I would do it again if life gave me the chance to relive this story. I kept thinking that maybe it would turn out differently, I kept on thinking that we could make it work. Now I know I was wrong. I see you every day and I realize more and more that things are always going to be the same between us. You will always avoid and I will always want more. I have spent days waiting for you to come and finally say what I know is in your heart. I have spent hours wanting to relive that moment we had, but that wishing and waiting is in vain. You are there, but always absent, you are with me, but never mine. You call for me, but you don't listen to what I say, and you continuously play with my emotions. I could blame you for all this, but the reality is that I understand I am the only one to blame for. I believed in you, I believed that what I say was the real you, I still believe I am right about you, but you don't. You think you have nothing to offer me, n

The Black Widow's: Why won't you let me?

The Black Widow's: Why won't you let me? :  "Him: are we still on for tonight?  Her: no. Sigh!  Him: why not?  Her: silence  Him: sweetie please talk to me....."

Converstions with my Self

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So lately I haven't been able to finish any of the material I have written, I seem to be blocked, or ran out of inspiration, don't quite understand how this works, and lord know I have lots of material but I just cant seem to bring my self to write an ending to anything, even now I'm not sure how ill end this post, I'm writing until inspiration stars flowing over me; alcohol sometimes might be the answer but to what question, shall I resort to external means of inspiration, empty hollow meaningless factors that will heighten my senses, so I can truly see, that inspiration lies with in our hight, trapped behind a door in the back of our minds, which we need a magical key to tap in to; I don't want to believe this, how ever wine now runs through my veins, and warms my throat and heart,  I feel the red veil lifting and turn this vain piece of writing in to verses that intertwine with one another, turning reality in to a pink and purple blur, oh how I wish this feeli

Wish...

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I wish I could find that someone that would move mountains for me,  someone that would be right there for me when ever I am in need, someone that would jump through hoops for me, someone to take star out of the sky as a gift for me  someone that when ever I call will stop what ever his doing just to be there, someone to make me laugh in moments of despair and will never hesitate, I wish that hug that would make everything go away,  and this is not a mother's touch or a friend's kind words of understanding,  Its something else, something far beyond, don't know its name, for it has so many, I recognize it, I have seen it, I have had it twice before and thrice more have I lost it,  now I miss it, wonder if I would ever get to have it again..... Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Back in time

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Go back in time I wish I could, feel the hope and passion that came with younger years, the power that we could, do it all and feel it so deeply, go back in time I wish I could, back to the time when everything seem possible and we had the world in our favor, go back in time I wish I could, when time was our friend, and summer lasted a life time, go back in time I wish I could, to the sense of freedom we had, for someone was responsible for us yet we still could make your own choices,  go back in time I wish I could, be able to once more have conversations about subject grater than we could grasp and still sound so knowledgeable, go back in time I wish I could, draw my utopia in the the back of a notebook and call it my future go back in time I wish I could, where plans included how to outdo our last prank and actually getting away with it,  go back in time I wish I could, long walks back home under the blazing sun at the rhythm of the beat on my CD player. Back in the time

Letargo

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  Me siento flotar sin rumbo tras el día a día, veo la vida pasar a gran velocidad a mi alrededor, me pregunto si todos saben a donde van, lo que quieren, lo que desean; Solo por este medio me atrevo a soñar lo que quisiera ser, hacer, tener, sentir, oír, vivir;  Esta burbuja que me retiene quisiera reventar, no quisiera morir sin antes haber vivido lo suficiente para escribir todo un libro Lo quiero todo pero nada me retiene, no logro encontrar aquello que me apasione mas allá de mi propio ser; Un rayo de luz, una guía, alguna briza que me indique el camino a seguir es lo que necesito,  y finalmente ver las puertas abiertas hacia una nueva oportunidad de tomar todo aquello que me pertenece

A Fine Frenzy: Almost Lover Live DVD

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I

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What is my place in life, for so long I have been wondering about on this earth not really knowing where is it that I belong, I haven't been able to find the right job for me, I don't feel at home even in my own house, haven't even found the right lover, so I wonder what am I supposed to do, how do I figure this out, I need help but I can't be throwing my stuff all the time to those few who are wiling to listen, or even care, and I'm afraid, afraid of the future afraid of being stuck of never moving forward, I feel I'm being pulled back every time I try to escape, to do something different, I fall back on the same patterns, and I'm yet to figure out why, what or who is restraining me in such ways, I can't even breathe, for me it has always been like this, me against the world, if I keep swimming up stream will I ever get any where when swimming down stream seems so empty; I can't understand why is it that people can't just take you for how you ar