The lover in my dreamt reality

I kept on asking myself if I would do it again if life gave me the chance to relive this story. I kept thinking that maybe it would turn out differently, I kept on thinking that we could make it work. Now I know I was wrong. I see you every day and I realize more and more that things are always going to be the same between us. You will always avoid and I will always want more.

I have spent days waiting for you to come and finally say what I know is in your heart. I have spent hours wanting to relive that moment we had, but that wishing and waiting is in vain. You are there, but always absent, you are with me, but never mine. You call for me, but you don't listen to what I say, and you continuously play with my emotions. I could blame you for all this, but the reality is that I understand I am the only one to blame for. I believed in you, I believed that what I say was the real you, I still believe I am right about you, but you don't. You think you have nothing to offer me, not realizing that the only thing I ever wanted was your heart. 

But again love, it is I the one to blame. I keep on going back to you knowing what I would find. I keep on believing in you, knowing who you force yourself to be. It has been years of this, and I am tired love, I am so tired. I love you, but my heart is aching and my body can't take the longing for your touch any more. My lips can't stand not being united with yours. I miss the real you, and I miss the real me while with you. But I know this can no longer be.

So it is with the biggest pain I say goodbye, this time for good. Goodbye my almost lover, goodbye.

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