Something Stupid

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Something stupid because its easy,
something stupid because you can,
something stupid to entertain you,
something stupid to help your mood,
something stupid to do on a Saturday night,
something stupid to lift you up,
something stupid to empathize,
something stupid to remember how it used to be,
something stupid, what harm could come from it,
something stupid to ease your mind,
something stupid to remember how good it feels, 
something stupid to forget how bad it really is, 
something stupid to reminisce,
something stupid to feel alive,
something stupid to apace your doubts and reassure yourself, 
something stupid to help you breathe a little better and sleep a little deeper,
something stupid to make you feel or is it to feel nothing at all, 
something stupid to blind you, to draw you closer to the edge than you care to realize.... 

And after all of this, after the ecstasy, the frenzy of it all, there you are, 
left even worst than before you decided to do something stupid, 
curled up in a corner, naked, cold, shaking, in pain, scared, disappointed, 
tears roll down your face, regret takes over, and you are gone; 
"Why do we decide do something stupid" you ask your self, and thin air responds in silence.

 then along comes the final blow to spiral you down deeper in to the pit, you find out it was all for nothing, you find out it was not even merely enjoyed, how would you ever come back, how would you ever recuperate from this one now....
and yet all you can think of is your next fix.

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